1. IN THIS AGREEMENT, 'you', 'your', 'Egg and Sperm' and 'Unborn Child' refers to the Conception, 'we', 'us', 'our', shall refer the parents of the conception.

2. TERM OF AGREEMENT. This Agreement will be in effect from the instance that we, the parents, are aware of your existence. It will remain in effect after your birth and, should you die before us for any reason, the Agreement will not cease as it will serve as evidence of our commitment to you.

We, ___________(Name of Parent 1)________ of _________(Address of Parent 1)_________ and ___________(Name of Parent 2)________ of _________(Address of Parent 2)_________ hereby promise to love and care for you as long as we both shall live.

I, _________(Name of Parent 1)_________ hereby promise to:

□ Embrace you with affection and warmth after I've just come home from my second job, greased with sweat and torn with exhaustion.

□ Make you lunch.

□ Sit on our couch that smells of the earthy winter rain and listen to you cry, with a hole in your pants and a bruise on your eye.

□ Read you stories.

□ Scream and yell and fall to my knees when there are dishes in the sink and dust in the carpet and you are worthless just like that bastard.

□ Hug and kiss you goodnight.

□ Storm to the toolbox on the floor and beat it against the walls.

□ Love you with all my heart and

I, _________(Name of Parent 2)_________ hereby promise to:

□ Tell you tales from my childhood, of my country, my people, your history.

□ Chase you with a stick when you misbehaviour and smack you with reality.

□ Excite you with imagined gifts that appear from the palm of my hands.

□ Leave you.

□ Our promise, we promise, I promise.

□ I promise to love you for ever and ever □

□ Really? □

□ Of course babe. I'll buy us a house so we can live in it and do what ever we want whenever we want. You want that babe? □

□ Gosh, what a dream eh? A house of our own with a couch and bed and oh boy but my parents would never let me move out though. □

□ Are you marrying your parents or are you marrying me?□

□ Don't get like that ok? You know I wanna be with you. You're my world. □

□ Well then quit bringing up your fucken parents or get out now.□

From the outside, I could see two figures embracing, naked silhouettes navigating space in the back seat of the Vintage - a 1970 shit brown Ford Fairlane. I had christened the car 'Vintage' not because of the make or model, but because each time the car returned, I could see the rust that was gradually colonizing the rear panels. From the outside, I could see the suffocating springs finding air holes in the front seat and the fight between metal and rubber on the steering wheel. From the outside, I could see strong hands gliding across skin, touching and grabbing and pounding and

"What the fuck are you doing! Get away from ..."